“I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette.”— Rodney Dangerfield “Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.”— Demetri Martin “When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my ...
101 Funny Employee Awards 101 completely different funny award certificates for Appreciation, Excellence, Leadership, Recognition, Teamwork, Achievement, and Employee of the Month. View Product 101 Funny Award Certificates A little bit of everything. The emphasis on friends, family and teammates, make...
A month later, I listen to some of his calls again, and no accent is to be found. I talk to him again. Me:“Why did you stop?” Employee:“I got stuck on a long call trying to keep up a flamboyant hillbilly accent. It was exhausting, so I stopped playing after that.” The Ca...
According to the U.S. Department of Labor, the Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA) does not require organizations to pay employees for time they don’t work. “These benefits are generally a matter of agreement between an employer and an employee (or the employee’s representative),” the U.S...
When [Employee] returns, I hold a big meeting with everyone in the office and present her with the envelope of money and flowers. She actually takes it and fake-cries. I call her into my office to reveal: Me:“We all know your mom’s alive. There’s no actual money in that envelop...
A boss asked one of his employees, ‘Do you believe in life after death?’ ‘Yes, sir,’ replied the new employee. ‘I thought you would,’ said the boss. ‘Yesterday after you left to go to your brother’s funeral, he stopped by to see you.’ ...
Man walks up to the employee and says "Yeah, I would like uhhh...hhmm...the Polish sausage." The employee kind of chuckles and says "Polish sausage, you must be Polish?" The man gets immediately angry and yells "HEY, just cause I ordered a polish sausage don't make me Polish! if...
An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, and repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $14.27. The loan officer says, “Miss, we are very happy to have had your bu...
Employee:“Got you.” A month later, I listen to some of his calls again, and no accent is to be found. I talk to him again. Me:“Why did you stop?” Employee:“I got stuck on a long call trying to keep up a flamboyant hillbilly accent. It was exhausting, so I stopped playing...
I wanted to sarcastically ask her for a Big Mac, fries and a large drink…but I didn’t want to risk pissing off the ONE and ONLY currency exchange employee I’d seen in the last 5800 miles. As we were staying with family, we only took $700 with us, so I handed it over and sh...