My mother had decided to trim the household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, ‘Just think, Ivor, we are five pounds richer because I washed this dress by hand.’ ‘Good’, my dad...
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I‘ve spent the last five months traveling so, rather than tell a joke I thought I’d tell a story about one of the people I met.So I’m in Cambodia, chilling at the beach and meeting people, as you do, chatting away and drinking. One of the guys I meet is Jurgen. He’s as...
on Thursdays I have to catch the eight forty-five. They're so particular about visiting hours, so if you're there by ten that gives you an hour before the poor men eat lunch. Think of it, lunch at eleven. You can go at two, and I'd so much rather, but he likes me to come ...
Me:“That won’t work.” The manager is clearly proud of their math skills. Manager:“Yeah, it will.” Me:“They’ll burn.” Manager:“It’ll be fine.”*To the cafe kiosk employee*“Do it.” Ten minutes later, the cafe needed to be shut down because the oven had caught fire. ...
Also ranks #8 on The 30+ Best "Lil"Rappers With Lil In Their Names, Ranked 5 Outkast 638 votes There are few duos more iconic than Outkast, whose genre-bending approach to hip-hop was peppered with humor from day one. With Andrè 3000's flamboyant, off-kilter style and Big B...
25% of couples wait longer than five years before taking their relationship that step further 23% of women have been proposed to more than once Three Funny Women Things The Minister noticed the bride was in distress and asked what was wrong. She replied that she was awfully nervous and afrai...
Stet, Draconic Proofreader - First letter of card name, first letter of player's name, and can also delete letters from either. Topdeck the Halls - Premium, promos, alternate frames, and the vaguely defined "alternate art". (P) Lutri, Pauper Otter - Color of expansion symbol. Unsure if...
About five minutes before school ended, as part of the closing announcements, we heard: Announcement:“[Homeroom Teacher]’s homeroom class, please report to the cafeteria at dismissal.” As soon as it was time for everyone else to leave, [Homeroom Teacher] marched us to the cafeteria without...
So since we're in Texas, and I know a lot of you are fans of the teams here in the state, I've come up with five different team names that could be fun for your fantasy football season. They're all Texas based in one way or another, so let's get it rolling. ...