Trevor was bragging in the pub about his eldest son and telling anybody willing to listen just how perfect he was. ‘He doesn’t smoke, he doesn’t drink alcohol and he never comes home late,’ intoned the proud Trevor. ‘How old is this paragon of virtue?’ inquired Frank who was a...
In Sweden, you need to be eighteen to drink alcohol in bars but twenty to buy alcohol from a store. And I say “store”, but I actually mean the “Systembolaget” — the state-owned monopoly which is the only place you can buy anything above the 3,5 percent mark. Up to the age ...
I want to sit like a human! Check me out ... I'm human!!
On asking IT to remove the empty location from the screen, they explained that I would need to investigate where the missing goods had gone. The fact that I was in a sales office two hours from the warehouse and would have no power over stock control was lost on them. When I rang the...
177 - Why don't Jewish mothers drink? Alcohol interferes with their suffering...More ›› 178 - Why is Russia a very fast country ? Because the people are always Russian !...More ›› 179 - Q: Why don't Polish people kill frogs? A: Because it's their national bird...More ...
The priest commented, ‘No alcohol for me I’d rather go with a scarlet woman.’ So the minister put his drink back and murmured, ‘Sorry I didn’t know there was a choice.’ Now as the best man, I don’t want to offend anyone so if there is a priest or a minister present I...
how I drink the detritus liquidafter I finish off the fish:it’s basically slightly gelatinous chicken broththat is sweetened by the fishy Passover dumplings. The next day you read a poem at an open micabout drinking Gefilte Fish Detritus.I felt as if my shrink was paid fifty-thousand-...
Alcohol clearly increases the size of the send button. We all need a day in which we can be just as useless as the ‘g’ in lasagne. Those who say they slept like a baby have obviously never had a baby. No, underarm farts are not an impressive party trick. ...
Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families, and careers. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He didn’t get hurt because it was a soft drink. Smoking will kill you… bacon will kill you… and yet, smoking bacon will cure it...
I could not drink enough water to balance the dry air sucking all the moisture from my skin. I couldn’t enjoy my usual quota of wine or cocktails with my family, because even small sips of alcohol made me woozy. But I heard an echo from that land. It was not clear, but I ...