Yo momma's so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund. 88 Relationship Insults Have you ever woken up from a sex dream and still felt horny? Cool, that's pretty much how your girlfriend feels after real sex. 86 Good Comebacks ...
Your momma’s so fat that when she jumped into the ocean the whales started singing “We are Family.” Email What’s the difference between your mama and an ironing board? A:An ironing board’s legs are harder to get open
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix)July 2, 2021 I’ve never felt a deeper connection to my 4yo than just now when she ran out of her room yelling, “MOM!!! I just sneezed and peed in my pants!!!” — Rachel Sobel (@whinecheezits)June 28, 2021 My wife: [watches first 10 minutes ...
This is becoming a challenge to write these. Fuck yooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuu! Congratualations. Go to Squackle, asshole. I’m going to gut you like a fish. Have you ever eaten an eyeball? Level 20. I love you. ;.!,:=-+_ Thats punctuation for fuck you. Yay……… You ...
— Jessie (@mommajessiec)October 21, 2021 Me before kids: I’m going to be such a laid back parent Me now: If I find one more light left on I will remove every lightbulb in this house and we will spend the rest of our days in darkness ...
I thought my kids would be teenagers when they realized how utterly uncool I am, but I almost ruined my 7YO’s social life by packing a Paw Patrol towel for her to use at camp so I guess the time is now. — Not the Nanny (@not_thenanny)July 8, 2021 ...