...the booming economic developments,more and more moder_百度...
1.第一段”modernized factories are built in order “改为”modernized factories have been built"注意时态的合理性.2.however后面要由逗号3.托福作文不能缩写,要体现出正式."I'd rather" 改成" I would rather"4.第二第三段的过渡词偏低级.因为第四段你用了让步,所以过度词用"In addition"和"What is...