As psychotherapists, we have often been asked to provideanger management. Whilst we know some people need to control their anger to prevent destructive effects on themselves and theirrelationships, what was then called anger management mainly consisted of breathing and cognitive techniques to control t...
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his father, my grandfather, was really nice to me growing up. But my mother told me that his dad had a temper for most of his life and that he often beat my father, even into adolescence.”
Ultimatums also often come with implicit or explicit expectations for how that person should deal with the crappy behaviour, such as them getting counselling or whatever. A personal boundary is a rule for what you will accept in terms of behaviour from anyone and what steps you will take to ...
“While my car was damaged as a result of this accident, at least I emerged unscathed.” Or, “Even though I do not want to engage in a particular activity, I realize that it is good for me in the long run.” Or, “The person making me angry is doing their best to help me. ...
“They were so ashamed of me, and they didn’t bother to hide it,” he said. I suggested that they might have been embarrassedforhim. He wouldn’t countenance it. And, indeed, it didn’t matter whether his parents truly were emotionally withholding or not. How weperceiveour exper...
Anna, an ad executive, was just back from her annual meeting in Hawaii. When I asked how she was feeling, she laughed and said, "Well, it feels great to have the presentation behind me, and the board loved what I came up with!" I wasn’t surprised to hear she had done well. She...
Do you, like me, respond to anger by trying to defuse the situation and giving your power away? Pick a relatively safe situation where you need to set a small boundary, and practice standing firm in your decision. Do nothing if they get mad. Let it blow over. I’ve tried it, ...